I have another lovely blogger to introduce you to today–Heather from Running With Spears! My friend and fellow reviewer from the Schoolhouse Review Crew is speaking to us today from her heart. Photographer, wife, mama to 4 (including a newborn), writer and homeschooler–I’m so impressed that she actually had a moment to sit down and write for us!
Hi guys! So, I’m currently in a wonderful. but not exactly easy. season of life in which I have an adorable, cuddly, precious five month old, who screams if I EVER set her down (even if she’s asleep) and sometimes even just if I have the audacity to sit down while I hold her. I also have a 2 year old who is potty training and training for the newest Olympic event, paper cutting. Seriously, her ability to cut paper into tiny pieces and scatter them all over the house should win her a medal of some sort.
At the same time, I’m trying to homeschool my nine and 6 year olds, blog, finish writing my novel, and somehow consume enough coffee to not fall asleep at my desk. Most days my bedroom floor is covered in a mountain of clothes waiting for me to fold, and I can’t remember the last time I actually got around to scrubbing my bathroom. Come to think of it, I can’t even remember the last time I took a shower. So, there’s that.
There are days I feel so done with it all. On those days, It takes everything I have not to scream at whichever kid decides she should come in and be loud the second I finally get the baby to calm down. And I’m pretty sure I WILL lose it if I have to go one more hour being constantly touched. I mean seriously, can I not even go to the bathroom alone? And then I start thinking I should just give up on the novel — who cares that a year ago I was certain God was nudging me to write it. And I definitely wonder whether I should just register my kids for public school because I’m afraid I’m actually doing them a huge disservice by thinking I can pull off this crazy life.
But when I manage to take a step back, hand my screaming baby to my nine year old, make another cup of coffee, and breathe for a second, I remember that this is just a season.
Here in Texas, summer is HOT. I hate summer. But I know that someday autumn will come. It may not feel like it until mid-November…but it WILL come.
Unlike Texas summers, I don’t hate this season of life by any means. But it helps to know things will get easier. I can look back and remember easier seasons, like the summer when I only had two girls, and they were six and four and could both swim well and I could actually meet a friend at the pool and manage the girls on my own well enough to enjoy our time there. And I remember other not-so-easy seasons that we made it through, like the year we were having to take my oldest to therapy three times a week for Sensory Processing Disorder and wait at the therapists office for hours at a time while trying to keep my three year old happy, then go home and deal with a five year old who’d used up all of her resources working through stuff in therapy and was a giant mess once she was done. Or the first few months with our third baby who projectile vomited everywhere all the time.
Keeping the changing of seasons in mind also takes some of the pressure off me to do ALL THE THINGS right now. It’s not actually the end of the world if my girls’ education isn’t exactly top notch right now. So we haven’t finished 3rd grade math yet when we should theoretically be starting 4th right now…in the scheme of things, does it matter? Nope. Worse case scenario she doesn’t start 4th grade math till next year…will even that be the end of the world? Nope. It won’t always be this hard to teach my kids. Someday I won’t smell like spit up, and my hair will be washed regularly, and my laundry might actually even be all put away. Like all things pumpkin flavored, easier days are on their way.
And the second I remember that, I also remember that this precious, tiny baby in my lap is my last. And I know more than anything else I’ve ever known, that I will someday ache to cuddle her in my arms one more time, and see her toothless baby grins, and not be able to move my hand because she fell asleep with her tiny little fingers holding tight to my thumb.
So, my sweet sisters who are also in the trenches of a draining season of life for whatever reason…I don’t minimize your struggles at all, but I do pray that you will rest in the knowledge that it will pass. And I hope you’ll give yourself a break,too. I know it’s silly to say things like, “the dishes can wait.” They don’t wait, they just pile up. I get it. Here’s the truth, though…some things can wait. Only you can figure out what that is for you. For me, I’ve realized that time consuming curriculum can wait. Just doing as much school as we can handle right now…even if that mostly comes down to whatever amount of school my girls can do online without any help from me, is enough for this season. I’ve also realized that right now we don’t have to say yes to everything. There are good things that aren’t the best choice for our family right now. I’ve finally realized it’s ok to have seasons where I admit I just don’t have the energy to do all the good things that we could potentially do without becoming overly drained.
Alright…I’ve rambled enough, and if I don’t vacuum soon ants will come take over my house, so I suppose that can’t actually wait any longer now. And then I’ll have some more coffee, because, you know, it’s coffee. Thanks for reading. Have a great day! 🙂
Heather from Running With Spears
Now you know why I was thrilled to feature Heather. Y’all have a lovely day now….and be sure to pop over and visit Heather!