“Fight For Us” ~ Chad Robichaux’s excellent book on marriage (a review)

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I am thrilled that FrontGate Media provided the opportunity for me to read Chad Robichaux’s new book on marriage. Called Fight For Us, it’s not only a book which will help you grow in your marriage, but one that will enable you to grow in your own character and in your relationship with Christ, as well.

Chad Robichaux brings an unusual set of life experiences to writing a book on marriage. He spent 8 tours of duty in Afghanistan as a Marine fighting the War on Terror. Then, he became a Brazilian jiu-jitsu 3rd degree black belt; and then a successful MMA fighter. But as he was achieving all these professional milestones, he was experiencing significant PTSD, emotional pain, and his marriage to wife Kathy was falling apart. On the darkest day of his life, Kathy asked him why he was fighting so hard as a Marine and an MMA fighter, when he wasn’t fighting for their marriage to survive?

This question led him to Steve Toth, a church elder who ended up leading Chad to Christ, and mentoring him as he grew, both in his faith and in his marriage. I believe that Chad’s unusual life trajectory as a warrior gave him an important insight that men and women of faith will recognize: that as Christians, we have an enemy (who’s also God’s enemy; see 1 Peter 5:8) who will do everything he can to undermine us in our lives, including in our marriages. Chad uses five parts of a championship MMA fight to teach men and women what’s key as we fight for our marriages:

  • Round I: Believe God Loves You and Has a Purpose for You
  • Round II: Be Accountable for Your Actions
  • Round III: Accept That You Can’t Change the Evils You’ve Encountered
  • Round IV: Access God’s Power
  • Round V: Put Yourself Second

These correspond to what Chad and Kathy learned and put into practice, and to what we can as well. Each Round serves as the organizing point for the chapters that follow. Chad shares openly about his life and his struggles, and what we need to know about the struggles of life and the spiritual warfare that battles against us. Then, he shares specific practices and habits that will not only help individuals grow in their faith and strength, but in building healthy marriages that will stand against problems from the inside and out.

The author recommends that Fight For Us be read by both husband and wife at the same time. Each chapter ends with discussion points, an affirmation spouses can make to each other, and actions to take. The book is based on Scriptures which are often mentioned (and written out) as various points are discussed. This book is not based on an “authoritative” view of marriage. Also, the author definitely recommends that women who are experiencing abuse in marriage seek help and healing.

My thoughts

This is one of my new favorite books on creating a rich and viable marriage. It is an honest and truthful account of Chad’s life experiences, and how those almost broke his and Kathy’s marriage. It’s also an amazing story of how God reached out for Chad in his darkest moment and absolutely saved his life–both physically and spiritually. Chad shares fantastic practices that are simple and are changes you can actually put into practice, but are profound at the same time. And although Chad is a warrior, the book is written in a way that clearly communicates God’s huge love for every person; and how putting Christ first and choosing that will help build trust, commitment, and a safe place in a believer’s marriage.

Although I have been married long enough to have a son in college, I found so much that I can apply myself in my own marriage. Here are some of my favorite passages:

  • “Create a plan for defeating selfishness and pride when they arise. You have the tools and the knowledge to avoid falling victim to complacency. You are one step closer to having a marriage that can withstand the battles of this life. But you must equip yourself. No one else is going to do the work God has equipped and called you to do in your marriage.”
  • “There is never a moment in your life when God is not available to you, and his plans for you are always good. Remember this promise? “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'” (Jeremiah 29:11).”
  • “One of the key characteristics of a resilient couple is a willingness to acknowledge the threats and challenges they face. It’s impossible to experience healing while in a state of denial. So we must identify trauma, recognize its effects, and be willing to deal with it.”
  • “We are at a pivot point in humanity where the single greatest need is a heart tranformation, which is something we can’t do in our own power.”

Something I’m appreciating more and more these days are those who are willing to be vulnerable about their struggles. Chad and Kathy speak openly about those. But, even more than I appreciate their openness, I’m so drawn to the very clear practices that anyone can embrace to bless and enrich their own marriage.

Fight For Us is a rich, wonderful, faith-encouraging book.

Where you can purchase Fight For Us

You can order Fight For Us from a variety of booksellers, including Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, ChristianBook.com, and others, via Thomas Nelson.

Also, you can download a free chapter of Fight For Us from Thomas Nelson. Just click on the highlighted link and scroll down the page a bit to the box that says “Download a Free Chapter.”

More about Chad Robichaux

You can find Chad Robichaux on Instagram @chadrobo_official

Chad has a compelling “white chair” interview on “I Am Second;” I don’t recommend it for children (there are mentions of an officer-involved shooting, suicide, evil committed by a terrorist organization against women and children) but it’s vulnerable, raw, and quite a story of faith and God’s work in our lives, for adults.

Thank you for reading! –Wren

Disclosure: I received a copy of this book from FrontGate Media. All opinions are my own.

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