Recently, Momentum Influencer Network sent me the most lovely book for women in their marriages! It’s called The Flirtation Experiment. It is the MOST encouraging and equipping book I’ve read on the topic of women in marriages in ages. And Momentum also will be gifting a copy to one of my readers!
About the book
Subtitled “Putting Magic, Mystery, and Spark into Your Everyday Marriages,” Lisa Jacobson’s and Phylicia Masonheimer’s beautiful book contains thirty chapters on ways that wives can seek to relationally engage with their husbands (a.k.a. “flirt”) so that marriages can become closer, more connected, more romantic and wonderful. Although we often regard husbands as the “pursuers” and wives as the “responders,” the authors cite many Scriptures (Song of Solomon 3:1-3, 1 Corinthians 13, and more) which encourage women to reach out, relationally, to their husbands. With two different perspectives on marriage (7 years in, for one, and approaching empty nesting, for the other), the two authors share about how wives can pursue deeper intimacy and connection with husbands. The book is written in an engaging, fun manner, with lots of wisdom sprinkled in here and there as well.
The authors take turns writing chapters, and share why they began their own flirtation experiments (to draw closer to their husbands romantically and emotionally). It wasn’t at all that they didn’t love their husbands, but rather that in the fullness of lives with children, professional work, and shepherding their families that they were missing the fun and closeness of their early years or even what they experienced during dating. They thought that trying out different ideas, approaches, or activities might encourage this. Perhaps not every idea worked—but so many did! And they really did grow closer to their husbands as a result.
So, they developed these thirty ways a woman could approach, or flirt (in the best sense of the word) with her husband. Each chapter describes why they thought it might bless them, what they did, and some ideas for the reader. Here are some of them, and the essences of what they hoped to accomplish with the activities:
- Affection (to approach with a simple touch, with no strings attached)
- Kindness (noticing how we might treat a stranger more kindly than our spouses)
- Adventure (choosing an activity that your hubs might love and inviting him to do it)
- Celebration (because life deserves to be celebrated!)
- Affirmation (because affirmation can lift a spirit and bless the hearer)
- and more
I think that The Flirtation Experiment is the perfect book for healthy marriages, in which the spouses would like to bring more joy, connection, and contentment to their relationships. So many couples would be blessed by this book.
And one important note, and I’ll quote directly from the book.
“Are you struggling with a spouse who […] seriously mistreats you? Are you in a situation that requires legal protection? Are you in a toxic, abusive relationship? Please don’t look to this book as holding a possible answer. In fact, don’t read this book at all. Seek professional, wise, biblical help and protection.”The Flirtation Experiment, Lisa Jacobson and Phylicia Masonheimer
I LOVED this book. Phylicia and Lisa are warm and personable communicators. They are vulnerable and honest themselves, confessing their own struggles or challenges (which will sound a lot like the readers’ own!). I felt that they gave me not only some lovely ideas and perspectives to use in my own marriage, but also encouraged me to look at myself and see my own vulnerabilities. I had to laugh some time ago when I took the Enneagram test, when I learned that my own type tends to not be very self-reflective. So being able to read this wonderful book, where I gained some fun perspectives and ideas on some areas, also showed me others where I’ve hesitated to step out in, because of some unhealed parts of my soul, from my own past. I was surprised, but also just appreciative to take note of things that I could bring to God in prayer for my own healing. What a gift! Because I’m certain that my own healing will, in turn, bless my marriage and my family.
I loved Phylicia and Lisa as authors, as fun gals I’d love to know personally, and wise women with good words for me. And for lots of women!
My favorite moments from The Flirtation Experiment
My copy of The Flirtation Experiment is filled with much highlighting and flags on pages where there was something important that I wanted to engage with. I don’t want to tell you so much that I spoil your own enjoyment of reading this book…but I do want to share some of my favorite passages!
- From the Rest chapter: “We can so easily underestimate our need for rest and how healing it is for our bodies. But rest is good not only for our physical selves; it is essential for our souls and for the souls of our marriages.”
- From the Refuge chapter: “We all long for a refuge. Somewhere to go where danger and distress are banished. Someone who will be steadfast and sure. A shelter in the storm.”
- From the Affirmation chapter: “Thoughts guide actions. Thinking about honorable things leads to honorable choices. Thinking about justice leads to just behavior. Thinking on what is pure protects against depravity. Patterns of thought shape our character, and since our character should be the image of Christ, our thoughts should be “on things above, where Christ is” (Col. 3:1-2 NIV).”
There are so many other passages that I’ve bookmarked and highlighted. Things that I’d like to pray on, to act on, things that I’d like to see God work on in me. But one great thing I noticed, overall: although I do have a longer “to-do” list (so to speak) after reading The Flirtation Experiment, it is not at all a list that is burdensome. Rather, it’s things that I can do, myself, to help my own marriage to improve and grow closer. And that brings me joy!
You can download the first two chapters free!
The authors and publisher, Thomas Nelson, have provided a link for you to get the first two chapters free. (I am sure you’ll want to read the entire wonderful book after you’ve checked them out! Just click here, where you’ll be prompted to enter your name and email address. Then you’ll be sent the free chapters.
And…your opportunity to win!
You can enter to win The Flirtation Experiment! I’m thrilled to be hosting a giveaway for a copy of this book. To enter, click on the pink “Enter here!” link below. That will take you to a Giveaway Tools entry form, where you’ll be able to enter in a variety of ways. Giveaway closes 2/19/22. One entrant will win a copy of The Flirtation Experiment. Best wishes!
Here’s where you can purchase The Flirtation Experiment
You can purchase this lovely book from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Christianbook, and other booksellers (including Audible, if your preference runs to audiobooks). Just click on the buy link below, and scroll to the bottom of the page. You’ll also find more goodies, including a video short with Lisa and Phylicia plus info on The Flirtation Experiment Workbook.
The Flirtation Experiment book & workbook buy link
Disclosure: Many thanks to HarperCollins Christian Publishing for providing this product/product information for review. Opinions are 100% my own. I did receive the product in ex-change for this review and post.